Sunday May 13, 2007

A Mother’s Day Tribute
Proverbs 23:22-25

I. Introduction

As most of you know my mom passed away to be with her Lord Tuesday evening, May 1, 2007.

My family and I were in Tacoma this last Tuesday for her funeral, and though it was a difficult time emotionally for me,
it was also a beautiful send-off for a wonderful person.

Although my mom was by no means perfect, she still managed to exemplify some incredible characteristics of what it
means to be a mom to her four boys, a wife to my father, and a true follower of Jesus Christ.

Today as we celebrate and give tribute to all those who are mothers, I would like to dedicate this message to my mom
and share a bit of her life with you in order to encourage those of you are moms to focus on those things in life that are
truly important.

But this message is not only for moms today, because the life lessons I will share apply to us all in one way or another.

II. Tributes and Challenges

A. A Tribute to Faith

I understand that many of you have heard some of the stories I will share with you today, but I ask you not only to listen
to “the story,” but to hear what the Lord wants to say to you through the story.

Growing up as a child, I was aware that my mom wrestled with her faith and her relationship to the church.

Even though she took us faithfully to church and even taught Sunday School for a number of years, for reasons I still do
not know she stopped attending when I was about 10 or 11 years of age.

Although I continued to go to church myself for a couple more years, it was not long before we officially became a
non-church attending family.

I think my mom decided that she could pretty much do it on her own. She was a good person, a devoted wife, and she
was involved with each of her children both at our elementary school and in our extracurricular activities.

We were a “good” family, growing up on the right side of town and deeply involved in school, sports and spending time
with family friends.

My mom’s world came crashing down upon her when I was 15 years and she went to borrow a suitcase from my room.
In that suitcase she found 16 one-ounce baggies full of marijuana and all of a sudden the life she had built wasn’t what
she thought it was.

Due to my mom’s multiple sclerosis she was prone to having seizures – this coupled with the shock of finding that suitcase
led her to have a seizure and one of my brothers eventually found her unconscious on my bedroom floor.

I’ll never forget reading the poem she wrote after that entitled, “My kid smokes pot – do you know what I mean?”

I think this situation and my determination to persist in making choices that led me into a life of drugs and alcohol forced my mom to return to the faith of her childhood – but even then she still resisted surrendering her heart fully to Christ.

When I was 17 years old my mom had an incredible experience that led to her full surrender to Christ.

Although she did not relate this experience to me until years later, looking back I can distinctly remember the
change in her life.

She no longer yelled at us kids in frustration and her approach to how she related to us drastically changed.

It was this act of total surrender to Christ that led her to pray every single day for each of her children and our friends.

It was her faith in God that helped her to become one of the best listeners I have ever known as she became more
concerned about others than about herself.

Her faith led her to be strong in two other areas that I want to share with you today.

But first I want to challenge you – not only moms, but each of us – that being a good person is not good enough.

Going to church, working hard and trying to lead a relatively good life is not enough. It will not get you into heaven and
it will not get you through the challenges of life that certainly will come our way.

It is faith in God through Jesus Christ that leads to salvation and gives you the strength you need.

B. A Tribute to Grace

As most of you know my mom was afflicted with MS for about 44 years. The type she had was a slow-moving, but ever progressive form that over the years took away her feeling in her legs (so she could no longer walk) and continued working its way up her body until in the end she was not even able to feed herself.

Her last few months were spent in ever-increasing pain as liver cancer set in and eventually took her life.

Through all those years, I never once heard her complain about her condition. In fact, she viewed her afflictions as a
blessing – stating more than once that having to deal with her condition allowed her to focus on things that really matter
like prayer, her family, and giving counsel (asked for or not) to my dad and others.

She loved passages like this one by Paul as he wrote to the Corinthians, “So we do not lose heart. Even though our
outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. 17 For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but
at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”
(2 Corinthians 4:16-18, NRSV)

I would often pray for her healing and one time expressed how strongly I had hoped and prayed that she would rise up again and walk. She simply looked at me with a deep sense of gratitude and said that she also hoped to be healed as there were many things in life that she hoped to still do, but even if Jesus chose not to heal her in this life – she knew she would be liberated from her disease in the next.

She carried with her the same sense that Peter had when he wrote, “In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while
you have had to suffer various trials, 7 so that the genuineness of your faith — being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire — may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe
in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the outcome of your faith,
the salvation of your souls.”
(1 Peter 1:6-9. NRSV)

Genuine faith and an eternal outlook gave my mom grace in the midst of her suffering.

How do you handle the difficulties? Are you able to see them as slight momentary afflictions that are preparing you for
an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure?

C. A Tribute to Relationships

Our house always seemed to have people in it.

Sometimes it had people in it even when we weren’t!

Coming home from vacation and finding the neighbor boy there. Kids who would simply walk through our home on the
way to school. Dad going into a family room full of kids and none of them were his.

My mom valued relationships, especially with her four sons and her husband.

I know my parents had some difficult times, but both of them understood the nature of covenant relationship.

When I was going through my most difficult years and my mom had no idea what to do with me – she did the one thing
she knew she could do and that was move toward me in relationship.

This could not have been easy for her. I had hurt her deeply. She wrestled with her own sense of guilt as she wondered what she had done wrong that had led me down this path. I defied her authority in my life and did whatever I wanted to do.

But she just kept on loving me and expressed on a regular basis that she believed in me no matter what. She took advantage of any time I was open to talk even though I was probably whacked out on drugs at the time.

She took an interest in things that I know she would not have if it were up to her, but because I was interested in them
she took an interest. She got to know my friends, listened to rock music and even drove off a few girlfriends that she
knew were bad news for me ?.

She placed our relationship above her own hurt, disappointment and anger, which I think is a big reason why I am so confident in God’s covenant love for me.

I believe that God will never leave me nor forsake me (Hebrews 13:5), because I had a mother who did not forsake me even when she had every reason to.

III. Conclusion

I would like to end on this relational note – if you are a mom here today, I want to encourage you: do not give up on
your children.

You may be the only person on the planet that will continue to pray for and believe in your child.

If you are estranged from your children, I would like to encourage you to pray and do whatever is possible to reestablish your relationship them.

If that seems impossible or overwhelming or perhaps there are legal issues involved, then seek counsel and or counseling. Whatever you do, value the relationship you have with your children, husband and close friends – do not let the “little foxes ruin the vineyard” (Song of Songs 2:15) of your relationship with them.

For the rest of us, I conclude with these words from Proverbs:

“Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. 23 Buy truth, and do not sell it; buy wisdom, instruction, and understanding. 24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice; he who begets a wise son will be glad in him. 25 Let your father and mother be glad; let her who bore you rejoice.”
(Proverbs 23:22-25, NRSV)

Value your relationship with your mother.

I know that many of our moms are dysfunctional themselves. Others are extremely painful to be around because of their negative and critical comments.

But the reality is that we are to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land…”
(Exodus 20:12, NIV)

If you need to discuss this further, call and make an appointment, but we need to value our relationships.

Even if our children refuse to communicate with us or our parents are hurtful, we have a responsibility, if only in the place
of prayer, to initiate reconciliation and pray for their well-being.

Let us seek the Lord today and recommit ourselves to those around us, especially our families and those we consider
to be like family.

Finally, I would like to close by reading what my Dad wrote about my mom for her obituary.

Margaret passed away peacefully on May 1, 2007 at age 72. She bravely and with a positive attitude battled Multiple Sclerosis for over forty-four years. When diagnosed, she made a conscious decision to lead an absolutely normal family life. She did just that, raising four sons, supporting her husband's career, volunteering in several capacities at both Church and school, playing slowpitch softball, and performing in little theatre.

Margaret graduated from Seattle University, but devoted her life to being a wife and mother. The lessons she gave and the example she was, both made her a superstar in her chosen path. She also found time to start a program for the gifted at Geiger Elementary School, for which she was awarded the prestigious Golden Acorn award by the Tacoma School District.

Margaret's life made a positive impact to all who knew her well, and even those who didn't know her well, knew
they had met a special person. She will be missed.